I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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