is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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