I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
why do cheetos always look like penises
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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