I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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