Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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