I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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