they need to just BURY HIM!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Randomize
