You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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