Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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