im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
