Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
