8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
