Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
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