I bet he comes in French.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
