i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
