Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
