God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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