I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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