she woke up with a sticky ear
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
