im gay
i know
yea but for you.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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