WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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