was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
a search helicopter?!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
