i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
