the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
