How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
