shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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