So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
