dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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