dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
