i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need to sanitize my soul.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
