So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
