She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
