How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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