my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
