How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
