I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
