Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
