smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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