whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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