my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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