matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
