definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she peed on how many people?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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