bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
