At least make sure they are 18
Why
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
