Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
