I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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