What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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