Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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