doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
