i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Congratulations! We have a period
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