i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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